Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
