Got a toothbrush?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
