after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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