I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
