His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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