You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
