i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
