My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
