And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
