you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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