the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your penis caused this!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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