I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Screwed.edu
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
