ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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