Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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