dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
