I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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