I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm like, not good at living.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
