ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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