She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
