i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
