ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't turn off my feet"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
