So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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