real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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