I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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