it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Congratulations! We have a period
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