i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
