Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
