Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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