I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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