I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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