Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
