the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
