You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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