my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
