I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
