Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize