So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
