I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
