Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize