At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
