So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
