If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
