i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
