Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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