I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
