I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
