Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
