I'm jealous of your bromance
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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