some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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