if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize