Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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