I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
