I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
