Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
