Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
