dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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