you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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