she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize