hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
