Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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