What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
