his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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