how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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