are you still at the devil's house?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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