So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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