I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
