I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
