Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
