My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize